smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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