He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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