Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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