Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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