i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
