Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I will be naked everywhere
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Randomize
