Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
