do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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