It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
