k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
