you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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