That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
