Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
