You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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