Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
