you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
