OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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