broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's blow job season.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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