We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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