You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
