No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
