My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
