You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
