Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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