Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You were trust falling into bushes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
