dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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