I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
