Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
