were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
