bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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