names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
