I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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