I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
