flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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