He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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