I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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