Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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