fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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