i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
