we have officially lost it.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize