Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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