I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
