woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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