Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
