I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i think i just lost a toe
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
