I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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