I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
