Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
