why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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