I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
