did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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