D3 body, D1 cock
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
