I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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