i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
