Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
