Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize