i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
