and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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