Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
