Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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