So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
