She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
