Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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