remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
