I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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