We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
