You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
