I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
