I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
