My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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