He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
