what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
