Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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