you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
